{"id":256,"date":"2017-07-28T23:52:55","date_gmt":"2017-07-28T23:52:55","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/?p=256"},"modified":"2019-04-01T23:56:34","modified_gmt":"2019-04-01T23:56:34","slug":"the-hook-up-culture-creates-anxiety-for-many-people","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/2017\/07\/28\/the-hook-up-culture-creates-anxiety-for-many-people\/","title":{"rendered":"The Hook-Up Culture Creates Anxiety for Many People"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I’ve seen many clients who have chosen,\nfor one reason or another, to have have sex with no strings attached.\nMost of the people who I’ve seen choose a bed buddy after a break up\nand they don’t feel like they want to open themselves up to another\nperson if their heart is going to be crushed. Yet, they are\nconflicted. They want sex and don’t want the emotional connection or\nthat someone else may depend on them for support. But deep down, many\npeople want to be in long term romantic relationships. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Most of the time, I think clients\nbecome anxious about these \u201conly sex\u201d and \u201cstress free\u201d\nsituations. It causes stress in many ways. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

One, it’s not a stable situation. Many\npeople have the disappointing situation of being \u201cghosted\u201d or\njust not being contacted or responded to when they text or call the\nperson they’ve been having sex with. Many of my clients experience\nthis as something they did. They feel that they must have done\nsomething to push the other person away but there’s no closure or\nconversation about if the situation wasn’t working out. But it could\nsimply be that the person moved on to someone else or got bored or\ndidn’t want to be in the situation. The other person might not have\nknown how to address not wanting to be involved anymore so they left.\n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two, my clients usually don’t know\nwhere they are in the relationship. Do they call? Do they not? Can\nthis be a \u201cdinner and sex\u201d sort of situation or is this an \u201conly\nthe bedroom\u201d situation? This can cause anxiety because the person\ndoesn’t know what’s right or what they can do. This confusion can\ncause problems. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Third, there’s not supposed to be\nstrings so what happens when a person sees the other with someone\nelse in public? Some people might feel jealous or upset but then feel\nthat they aren’t allowed to feel that way because they weren’t\nsupposed to be serious anyway. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

While some people can benefit from\nsituations where sex is the only thing that happens between them and\nanother consenting person, for others, it causes stress. The stress\nand anxiety comes from the confusion and the conflict within the\nperson. It might be that deep down, people want to have long term\nstable relationships that help them even in those times where it\nmight be difficult to get close to someone. I think most of all,\npeople have to be honest with themselves and know themselves well\nenough to express what they want. It can be difficult, though, if the\nother person who is involved doesn’t know themselves, they can still\ncause problems. Hook ups can benefit some people and cause anxiety\nfor another– it’s all about how well the person knows themselves. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

If you or someone you know is suffering from anxiety or having difficulty finding a stable relationships, please feel free to call or email me at 203-300-7193 and VanessaLoveLPC@gmail.com. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I’ve seen many clients who have chosen, for one reason or another, to have have sex with no strings attached. Most of the people who I’ve seen choose a bed buddy after a break up and they don’t feel like they want to open themselves up to another person if […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-256","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=256"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":257,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/256\/revisions\/257"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=256"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=256"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=256"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}