{"id":335,"date":"2019-06-20T17:00:33","date_gmt":"2019-06-20T17:00:33","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/?p=335"},"modified":"2019-06-20T17:00:38","modified_gmt":"2019-06-20T17:00:38","slug":"review-helping-men-recover-program-ignores-a-major-issue-in-mens-lives","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/2019\/06\/20\/review-helping-men-recover-program-ignores-a-major-issue-in-mens-lives\/","title":{"rendered":"Review: Helping Men Recover Program Ignores a Major Issue in Men’s Lives"},"content":{"rendered":"\n
\"\"<\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Helping Men Recover is a program including two books to assist counselors and men who are in drug recovery. It was developed over some years and published in 2011 by Dr. Stephanie Covington, Dan Griffin, and Rick Dauer. I used this program, among several programs, while at my internship last year. This is a time-limited, evidenced-based program for closed groups. It’s meant to educate men about issues that they face and assist in building better relationships with others, especially in friends and romantic relationships. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the topics I noticed was that there was an emphasis on how men were told how to be men. At times, it seemed that the literature all but used the phrase \u201ctoxic masculinity.\u201d It was about how their fathers or father figures taught them how to be aggressors, how society encouraged it, and a little bit about how they might have been abused. The focus was on how men are emotionally detached, devalue women, homophobic, and encouraged for violence. I found that this did not seem to resonate for a majority of the men in the program. The literature focused on these areas as default modes for men. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In essence, the information didn’t sit well with me either. I felt that I was almost sticking up for the men while facilitating a group with this program. The men were telling me stories about not growing up with their fathers but respecting their mom, respecting women, accepting the men in the group who were gay or who had gay experiences, and those who remained emotionally sensitive even though they were bullied all of their lives. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

One of the major issues that was overlooked was the abusive relationships. If men were already assumed to be violent, there was more focused on anger management and basically fighting fair. But there was little or no focus on how their choice in partners might affect their relationship or that their partner might be violent. But the focus was mostly on heterosexual partners. I believe there was a sentence about leaving an abusive relationship and finding a shelter or calling for services. For this to work, there would have to be those services available. When I look into it for a client, the local place said that they didn’t have a domestic violence shelter for men but they could pay for two days at a local motel. A friend who works for a domestic violence agency often encounters coworkers who will automatically tell men that there are no services available for them even though the services are available. The friend told me that he waits for the men to call back and get through to someone who knows about the services available. There are many stories like this. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

To make matters worse, there are only a\nfew domestic violence shelters dedicated to men around the US. While\nthe first was in the making, the man who was trying to get people to\nfully understand the need for this, he was criticized and bullied to\nthe point where he felt that taking his own life was the best option.\nIt’s only recently where the first domestic abuse shelter was finally\nestablished. Many other agencies are saying they provide for men,\nnow, but it’s not anything near what women have. And it might be\nliterature like this and assumptions that men are violent and\naggressive to begin with that are holding back services from the men\nwho need it. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

When I talked to the authors about this\nissue, they said that as soon as they published the book, they\nstarted to emphasize how domestic violence services are needed for\nmen. It sounds like they will be working on another edition of the\nbook where the emphasis is on the needs of men, especially those in\ndomestic violence situations. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Two of the issues that the workbook\ndoes focus on is communication and spirituality. Both are usually\ntough for most people and men in particular. The focus on these are\nimportant and I’m glad that there is some training in these areas.\nThe program where I interned was mostly a starting point for most\npeople. In getting people to start thinking of how to communicate\nclearly and feeling comfortable with sharing with people as well as\nwhat it means to have a connection to a spiritual belief can be great\nstarting off points. I hope that the men continued to think about it\nand get some help in support groups, friends, or therapists if they\nneed it. \n<\/p>\n\n\n\n

Obviously, I have my concerns about the information that is conveyed in this workbook. I hope that the authors will update it soon and push for reform for services for people who need domestic violence services. The authors of Helping Men Recover educate men about communication and assist with reconnecting to spirituality, which is much needed for people who are addicted. With some updates, the program will be more rounded to the needs of men. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Helping Men Recover is a program including two books to assist counselors and men who are in drug recovery. It was developed over some years and published in 2011 by Dr. Stephanie Covington, Dan Griffin, and Rick Dauer. I used this program, among several programs, while at my internship last […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[78,75,7,17,5,76,73,72,74,80,35,10,6,24],"class_list":["post-335","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized","tag-abuse","tag-abusive-relationships","tag-anxiety","tag-connecticut","tag-depression","tag-domestic-abuse","tag-mens-issues","tag-new-england","tag-recovery","tag-recovery-programs","tag-stamford","tag-therapy","tag-trauma","tag-wellness"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=335"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":336,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/335\/revisions\/336"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=335"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=335"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/lovescounseling.com\/index.php\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=335"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}